A Little Girls Journey (FULL CIRCLE ) PART 5
The wedding that my husband to be,was a huge event.I wanted to just quietly elope.But this was his first wedding and he wanted all that came with it.The big fancy cake,limos,large wedding party.He even became baptized as a Catholic so we could get married in my church,It had been eight years since i had lost my first husband i was going on my late thirties.How was i going to marry a friend of 26 years? what if it don’t work,i lost a partner and a good friend. I had my reservations,but i felt i should do this.My daughters viewed him as a father,he had helped so much in the start.And over the years,even though way back we tried dating it didn’t work,he still was in love with me.I however was still in love with another man.The man i went to the 9 lives tour with,but i felt i would fall in love with him.
He rented a billboard and asked me again to marry him,and had photographers there to capture the big moment when i said yes,he gave me this big engagement ring,we were to be married fourteen months later.He booked the church,planned almost everything,all i had to do was get a white wedding gown and dresses for my bridal party. “Are you kidding ?i yelled.I’m not a virgin Ive been married before i cannot wear white!”He booked a meeting with the priest,the priest said that since my first marriage ended with me being a widow i could wear white.We took a test and passed with 80% we were a good couple. I was happy but inside i was crumbling.
Half way through the engagement his mother became ill,and my father was not well. His mother had a tumor on her kidney,they removed it,and she died four months later.He was devastated,there was only four months till our wedding. Then the woman that raised me My aunt,died suddenly in her sleep four weeks before our wedding. We couldn’t cancel,we would loose thousands of dollars in deposits and the invitations went out.
The big day arrives,its raining.I had no bad nerves and my feelings for the other man had faded,It had been two years since i even last spoke to him.My wedding dress was a white dress with a cathedral veil and the train was some 25 ft long. I looked like a princess,all the girls looked beautiful,my youngest now 12 was my flower girl and my oldest going on 17 was a bridesmaid.My dad looked so handsome in his tux,my mother who was not going to come at the last minute decided to come and wore a beautiful dress. Th e church organist started the “Ave Maria” and after all the girls walked down,my father and i started down the aisle.
At the alter my husband to be stood so proud with all his men,he had tears in his eyes.I didn’t have this type of wedding when i married my first husband we had a little back yard wedding.The mass was a hour,we were married. We had a huge reception,i danced with my dad and we did all the traditional wedding things.It was a amazing reception,the last song played was Aerosmith’s AMAZING.
We honeymooned in Daytona Florida and then traveled up the entire east coast,fourteen days of wonderful bliss. When we get home and marriage begins,things start to change,i wasn’t no longer to have all my friends over,he was depressed and started putting on weight.I still was working at my same job.my boss was angry i got married. He said it was changing everything.My confidence was fading. I couldn’t believe this! not again,i assumed he was finally grieving for his mother since he really didn’t as we were planning the wedding.So i did all i could to be the best wife possible.He was working we were making good money,and we traveled,had fancy cars,nice clothes,the life i never had before. But behind closed doors,two years into our marriage he no longer slept in the bedroom.He slept on the couch.I asked him over and over “what did i do?why was he doing this” I always got the same answers he was tired and just fried from working so much.
When i was home,i still played all my Aerosmith Cd’s to feel better,We were going into 2006,when suddenly my dad fell very ill,he was diagnosed with Mesothelioma,cancer from asbestos,all those years ago,when he was fixing battleships and submarines he was exposed to it,My dad was dying,one month before his death we had a heart to heart talk.I asked him who that man was Mom had living with us in the city.He explained while he was away,she had met him,and a relationship had begun.When he came home from being away,he was living with her.My dad refused divorce,he was old school marriage. H e forgave my mother and they just continued their marriage, I asked how long she knew him,he said years, I got sick and was crying out of control.I gathered my thoughts and i said ” Dad, are you my father?” H e said “I raised you,I’m your dad”. WHAT? that’s a mixed up answer.But i didn’t push it,he was my dad whatever maybe. To this day,i have no idea what that man really was to my mother,but i loved my dad and he was my daddy no matter what!!.
On a nasty day May 11 2006 my dad died,i was devastated.What was going to happen now? My mother and i had a strained relationship,my sister never married and always lived with my mom,She inherited everything,I was given nothing,but a camera ,some old junk that was my dad’s my mother and sister almost millionaires. My mom claimed she found a will,and the lawyers gave her a huge settlement,my sister just shared in the wealth. My marriage was not good,we hardly spoke.
I just worked,listened to music ,raised my girls.My oldest graduated from high school,then my youngest graduated. It was 2009,i got a bad virus and was sick for two weeks. One day i woke up and could not walk,after almost a entire month in the hospital.They told me i had Transverse Myelitis,a rare neuro-disease that had almost made me completely paralyzed,i would never walk again. I wanted to die! I was told i was permanently disabled and i went home in the end of march 2010, I was home 24 days,when one morning i could not wake my husband,i needed help to get washed up and start the day,I called his name,shook him. H e was dead, Almost 9 years of marriage and he was dead,I was in shock why? my girls were crushed. The coroner ruled he had a heart attack the day before and also because he had sleep apnea,had died in his sleep.
His funeral was a huge gathering,i was a zombie,I was unable to walk,my second husband was dead,my girls now adult women were in shock,and what was i going to do? I stared by forcing myself to get out of the wheelchair,and push myself from one piece of furniture to the next,as months passed.My oldest announced she was getting married and i thought “I’m not going to her wedding in a wheel chair”months passed,i had made it to getting around with a walker.Then one day two months before her wedding.My girls and their boyfriends,told me they had a surprise for me. I was going to the GLOBAL WARMING TOUR in Albany NY,for my birthday to see Aerosmith,I was beyond excited,i was over the moon,i cried so hard. WAIT!! there’s more they yelled,I was going to Meet STEVEN TYLER AND JOE PERRY,Plus the rest of the band,Tom Hamilton,Joey Kramer,and Brad Whitford. I thought i was going to die, For three weeks i walked around like a zombie,what was i gonna wear? what was i going to say? OMG!!! 30 years after first falling in love with this band,i was meeting them, I had gone to the Cocked,Locked Ready to rock tour in 2010.with my daughters a few months after my husband died,we had floor seats, So i never imagined i would see them the next year and meet them, OMG! I was going with my future son in law, He would take good care of me,and it would be a great bonding experience. The big day finally arrived. JUNE 29 2012 ,I got up at six am, i wanted to wear my jeans and boots and leather vest,my rock and roll outfit.my oldest said ,no! i was wearing a dress, “WHY? I SCREAMED,I NEVER WEAR DRESSES TO A AEROSMITH CONCERT!” she calmly replied “well,this time you are ” it was a special day,they had bought me a short sexy dress,that was opened int the back. I wore flat shoes,i couldn’t wear heels because of my paralysis, what about my walker??? we were taking it,but my son in law would get me around. We packed the car it was a three hour drive,it was me ,my daughters and my future son in law. The whole way there,i kept playing over in my mind what i was going to say, i was going to tell him how their music saved my life,how much they meant to me. We finally arrived, i was shaking so bad. We kissed my daughters goodbye,they were going to stay at the TIMES UNION CENTER and have lunch and dinner and hang out in the sports area. MY son in law went to the will call window and got our tickets,we were seats 9 and 10,first row section C. I thought i was going to throw up, i could hear them doing sound checks,all of a sudden i hear that voice ,only one voice in the whole world sounds like that “CHECKING,ONE TWO THREE,FUCKING A” It was Steven Tyler doing a sound check I SCREAMED “AWWWW,AWWW OH GOD” my son in law,grabs me by the shoulders “MOM,YOU DO WANT TO MEET HIM,YOU GOT TO CALM DOWN”.
We got our lanyards with our badges,they read AEROSMITH WHEELS UP on one side AEROSMITH ALB on the other,i felt important,like a celebrity, next thing i know we are being taken to a area for a Q AND A with JOEY KRAMER,OH LORD,there he was right in front of me,now i had to hang on to my son-in -law,and hobble to our seats,Joey answered questions. I knew the answers to them all,before he answered. I KNEW THE TICK IN HIS EYE WAS CAUSED BY STEVEN! Ha ha,we laughed,then BRAD WHITFORD came out,he played some blues,and talked about the old days,he was wonderful,just like Joey. Next was TOM HAMILTON,He didn’t speak ,but played some rift’s and a little Sweet Emotion,what a wonderful man. It was time,we had to line up to get ready for the meet and greet. The line wasn’t that long,My son in law wanted to go in together,”NO I YELLED,PLEASE.I HAVE BEEN WAITING MY ENTIRE LIFE”,He agreed, as each person would go in,you would hear screams,and girls would come out crying,grown women bawling their eyes out. In my hand was a invitation for Steven to be my date at my daughters wedding, hey what did i have to loose? I was going to try. My son in laws turn came,he went in.I peaked through the curtains.Steven saw me.OH ITS HIM,IN PERSON UP CLOSE!! I’M GOING TO DROP DEAD.He looked at me,and took his pen and shook it at me, i smiled. My son in law,got his pictures taken,and his posters signed,by both Steven and Joe. The security guy,took my purse,he said “WHATS IN YOUR HAND” i said “A WEDDING INVITATION,TO MY DAUGHTERS WEDDING” , He replied “you can’t give him that”, I said” LOOK IVE BEEN A FAN SINCE I WAS 14,IVE BEEN CHASING THESE GUYS FROM CONCERT TO CONCERT,I HAVE EVERYTHING THERE IS OF THEIRS,EVEN PAJAMAS, I’M GIVING HIM THIS INVITATION” he looked at me,and said” I’LL HAND IT TO HIM” ,thank you i replied. They opened the curtains,now i had been hobbling on my leg for over 3 hours at this point,i was in agony,the pain was horrific,But when they opened the curtains, I RAN IN,STEVEN BRACED HIMSELF,HE OPENED HIS ARMS,AND I GRABBED HIM HUGGED HIM AND SAID ” I HAVE BEEN A FAN OVER THIRTY YEARS,YOU HAVE KEPT ME ALIVE” He played with my hair a little,and whispered in my ear ” ITS FANS LIKE YOU WE TO LIVE FOR” I wanted to cry,but i kept it together,we held onto each other,im digging my hand in his side,and he had his hand dug in my arm. I FORGOT JOE PERRY WAS EVEN STANDING THERE,I WAS A ASS! I apologized,and kissed him on the far-head,he smiled and said “I’M USED TO THAT”,they signed my picture,and Amanda the photographer,said “THEY HAVE TO GET READY WE HAVE TO TAKE THE PICTURE”MY FACE SAYS IT ALL!! I said “oh,the security guard has a invite to my daughters wedding for you”. They opened the curtain and i turned around and said ,”SEE YOU AT THE CONCERT”. He winked. My son in law grabbed me we walked a few inches,got my purse,walked to a big cement pillar,and i fell to my knees sobbing.” they saved me,from all the horrible things,i could have turned to drugs,or drank,or died”but THEIR MUSIC SAVED MY LIFE,I sobbed so hard.
I’m crying writing this. They announced it was time ,we were led to our seats,front row.I never been this close. The lights went out,and CHEAP TRICK came out,they were awesome,they threw out guitar picks,we caught two, they sang SURRENDER and i sang at the top of my lungs. I latter found out I’m in the video of them SURRENDER on you tube. After they were done,a big booming voice came over the loud speaker,it was their new song from the new Cd .And then out they came,I’m screaming,my son in law never been to a aerosmith concert,he never saw me,the real me,not the mother in law,ME! I was able to read the bottom of Stevens mic stand,it read ” LICK ME”. As each song came on,by the first few cords,i knew what song it was,the guy next to me,couldn’t believe it,the girl next to him,asked to sign my little book,i take to every concert,to take little notes,i latter write about or write a poem. It was getting near the end,”TRAIN KEPT A ROLLIN” was near the last song,confetti came down, THE LIGHTS DIMMED.SMOKE WAS BLOWING AND UP OUT OF THE FLOOR SITTING AT A WHITE BABY GRAND PIANO WAS STEVEN,SINGING “DREAM ON”. It was heaven, when the lights came on, i had been standing,for along time,not giving it a second thought, i was in a horrific pain,i didn’t care,i had died and gone to heaven. We walked out of the building standing by a pole were my beautiful daughters,the women that went through a lot of hell themselves. We collapsed into each others arms.and cried,and cried,and cried. WE CAME FULL CIRCLE,
Since that wonderful day,my oldest daughter got married,got her own home and is a nanny,She is a school teacher,but the school closed due to lack of enrollment. My youngest daughter is expecting my first grandchild Aug 13th,its a girl,her name is going to be Layla. I live with her,her fiance and I write poetry, I’m writing a book, I make crafts,I collect vintage everything and build dollhouses and diorama’s. I’m single, and we are moving to Mississippi after the baby is born,my daughters fiance owns 30 acres of land,it is Nirvana,and I’m grateful to be asked to move with them,they are building their house,and i will have a Mother in law house. My youngest daughter is a small animal and marine life specialist.
My mother and i ,still have a day by day relationship,i have forgiven her for everything, I love her,she just don’t like me. But that’s OK. I did good,my daughters grew up to be beautiful,smart,talented women.strong and never will be abused.
Our passion for music still grows,and i will pass it on to Layla. I already got her a Aerosmith onsie,and to small T shirts. The BLUE ARMY continues.
I am happy,and still listen to Aerosmith everyday,I thank My Lord for everything,i will always have TM,and my other leg is weak now,i will most likely end up back in a wheel chair ,you can dance on wheels. I found out just a short time ago, I’m in a video from the concert “TRAIN KEPT A ROLLING” My girls think its wonderful,i well. think its weird,seeing myself. But its all in God’s plans.
Thank you for reading my story, and don’t forget” SOMETIMES YOUR THE WINDSHIELD,SOMETIMES YOUR THE BUG” S.TYLER ( HONKIN ON BOBO DVD)